we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
