I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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