Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
