Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
