i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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