are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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