I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
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