i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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