I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize