end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
