Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
