I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
