u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So much rum. So many feels.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
