Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
True but thats because hes a fetus.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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