What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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