I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
