I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
