OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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