Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
