Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
