Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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