maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
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I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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