no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
