Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
