I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
how drunk are you?
Several
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
