we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm at about main and main street
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
