well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
