Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
