i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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