shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
