did you get engaged???
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
