I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
