I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
