My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
