porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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