But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
