i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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