This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What a dumb baby whore.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
