He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
