There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
