But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
