omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
