I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
