Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
