i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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