Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize