What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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