Just cropdusted the office
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize