i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
