If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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