that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
