Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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