S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
