after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize