The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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