you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
That's intense
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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