It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
