Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
