That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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