It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Say something about gay babies.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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