Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
