I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
