Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
