"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
