You can't special order awesome
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
