grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
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