hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize