I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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