Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
