sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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